I eat relatively healthy, and have a reasonably rich social life. I don’t drink, smoke, use drugs, or engage in a lot of vices. I’m home all day, and have lots of time with my family (including a couple of cats, who let me know, when it’s time to give them attention). I take frequent breaks, including occasional naps. Even the computer time isn’t just working. I do all kinds of things, even play games. I work in the living room, so I’m pretty connected to the household. In fact, it’s important for me to force myself to get out. COVID has made it all too easy to stay in.
When I go on a problem-solving coding run, I don’t have bandwidth for anything else, and I’m generally exhausted, when I’m done. It may be hours straight, focused on what I’m doing. As our project is maturing towards release, there are quite a few days like that.
But, yeah, I’m pretty obsessive about coding. It’s not “noble,” and I am quite familiar with addiction. There’s definitely an aspect of that, in my approach to my work. But then, I know folks that have surgery, so they can play golf better (because they were just as obsessed as me, but in making money, and it damaged their health).
Doing what I do makes me feel good, and whole. I have friends that are every bit as obsessed with golf, traveling, music concerts, religion, crafts, hiking and climbing, skiing, martial arts, dancing, playing music, surfing, video games, art, photography, guns, hunting, fishing, cars, motorcycles, or boating, as I am, with software development. Most business owners are just as tied up with their work, as am I.
I guess folks think that these are “healthier” pursuits, but I am not so sure. What I do has the added benefit of producing something that helps folks out. I consider it a craft. I’ve been shipping software, my entire adult life. I guess this crowd doesn’t really grok doing something that doesn’t generate money (quite understandable), but it’s never actually been about the money, for me. If I wanted to make money, I would have done so. I’m pretty aware of my capabilities. As it is, I made enough to be where I am, but not so much, that it became its own problem. I could have made other people quite a bit of money, but they were incapable of seeing past my gray hair. I’m actually grateful, in the aggregate, as it forced me to be where I am.
There’s a deep satisfaction to be had, putting a bow on it, and sending it out the door. It was deeply disappointing, to have my work treated badly by others. It paid the bills, but I died a little, inside, every time my work was damaged, misused, or ignored. When I work for myself, I no longer have to suffer that pain. Out of necessity, the scope is smaller, but I’ve always been able to get a surprising amount done. The project I’m doing now, is the type of thing normally done by a fair-sized team. Now that I’ve had a few years on my own, I can’t see myself ever going back to the rat race.
I enjoy helping people out. I have a skill that can empower people to transcend a lot of pain and misery, so I don’t think it’s a bad thing to use it. I’m not looking for brownie points (certainly not money). Most folks have no idea of the extent of my work, and that’s fine with me. Fame and accolades are a young man’s game.
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