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0 pointslucumo4y ago0 comments

Meh. Whenever I see such things, it's usually because their interlocutor is boring.

People aren't interesting just because they are people. In fact, most people are boring as hell.

There is such a thing as manners, of course. But that's a two-way street. The other party also has to make an effort to not be boring, and that effort is rarely made either.

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sigmaprimus4y ago· 2 in thread

>>> The other party also has to make an effort not to be boring, and that effort is rarely made either.

Would you please elaborate what you mean by this?

I am familiar with how conversations work or at least how they used to...

This looking at your phone and tuning out of a conversation seems to be somethin new and lacking as you said, manners.

lucumoOP4y ago

It's just that demanding someone's attention without expending the effort to be interesting to them is quite rude as well. If someone's constantly on their phone while you're speaking to them, your conversation is clearly not very interesting to them so you should do better.

I find demanding someone's attention more rude than not giving attention that's requested. Someone's attention is theirs to give, not something for others to demand.

As for how conversations used to work... When people were boring or uninteresting people would zone out and just uh-hu away. Just smile and nod. It may give the other the illusion that they're not being ignored, but they are.

sigmaprimus4y ago

Well I did not demand their attention so I suppose that is a different thing, in fact I did attempt to engage them with questions but after a few "Huh What?" when they look up from their phones, then a one word answer and back to their phones...I just ate my meal in silence.

I agree no one wants to listen to someone drone on and on, or brag about themselves but that is not what was going on in this specific case.

The truth is it was only a lunch and now that I know how going to lunch with these guys works, I just wont bother inviting them again. I just needed to vent a bit I suppose, and you are correct it would be rude to make my opinion of their conduct known to them and would have come across as a demand for their attention.

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