I've been severely depressed and borderline suicidal twice. The second time was worse than the first. Baking a single potato was the first sign I was pulling out of it. I could barely walk. It was bad. I prayed a lot, and I'm usually the pithy type with prayer.

The only reason I consider it borderline suicidal is that I had an internal rule to call 911 the first moment I started making plans and I think that kept my mind away from doing that because I didn't want to get checked into a mental hospital.

I cannot express to you just how happy I am to have held on. I am truly joyous again. It seemed impossible during the dark times.

I can't speak for everyone, I believe in free will to some extent, but I also believe that life is precious and sacred. Sometimes all someone needs to do is to just keep holding on and pushing through and that really easy to jump off of bridge that they have to walk by every day is not helping one bit.

Anyway, if anyone is reading this and is struggling like I have, please feel free to email me if you want advice or even if you just want someone to vent to.