The point is that a $101 certificate for the smoke from $100 in burnt five dollar bills isn't worth $101. Or $100. Or $5. Or $0.01.
You can declare by fiat that as a proof of effort, the smoke certificate is worth something. You can try to convince people that certificates representing smoke function as a medium of exchange. But as a medium of exchange, it must reside on a continuum with all the other media of exchange, ranked by the certitude that it will in the long run be convertible to other media. And in that ranking, "smoke from burnt dollar bills" fares poorly.
There are obviously many types of Bitcoin advocates. The ones we see most often on HN are of the nerd clade. Nerdly Bitcoin advocates are fixated on the fact that "any damn thing can be a currency". This fixation presupposes that being a currency is interesting. The problem is, it isn't interesting. Toenails can be a currency. Belly button lint can be a currency. Burnt dollar bill certificates can be a currency. What's interesting is, what are good currencies.
Here the nerdly Bitcoin advocate handwaves around the fact that we actually have notions of what it means to be a "good" or "bad" currency. Dollar bills are highly liquid and have a relatively predictable valuation over time. To a lesser extent, so does gold. Bitcoin does not. It's volatilee, it has illusory liquidity (it is liquid only so long as the "exchanges" on which it trades decide to keep trading Bitcoins --- or decide not to succumb to their numerous security flaws), and it is in no place a native medium of exchange, such that some person somewhere will ever need it to e.g. pay their taxes.
To all that, add the critiques you sourced of Bitcoin; that while it has impressive virality, it largely fails at its security goal by making the cost to defend transaction integrity greater than the cost of attacking it; that it largely fails at its anonymity goal by requiring a complete audit log be made available to everyone simply in order to function; that it largely fails at its decentralization goal by requiring resources comparable to that of a Visa or a Mastercard just to scale.
What are you left with? Colorless, odorless tulips.