Meanwhile, my wife is still rocking the iPhone 7 with some degradation in battery life, but pretty much everything else working as it should. I don't regret jumping into the Apple coolaid one bit.

I wish instead of "cool features", they'd spend some time improving their supply chain. You expect some quality from a $1000 phone. And in case it seems subjective, look up lawsuits for faulty hardware for pixel phones. I’m not making this up.