You are experiencing a serious and legitimate culture issue, and I know it exists and happens inside some companies. My impression based on hearsay is that this is worse in financial companies than many other kinds, but I know it happens elsewhere. I’m not convinced that speaking to your manager is a viable avenue to fixing it, because your manager is part of the problem, or for you potentially the whole problem - telling them that is not going to make them suddenly recognize it and fix things, it will probably only cause problems for you and get you labeled as uncooperative.
My additional personal reaction is that quibbling over single digit percentage compensation versus a promotion might be a little short sighted - perhaps losing sight of what’s important. The bigger question you need to be asking is what you really want in the future, and where you want to be. If you don’t want a promotion because it seems like a pay cut, then think about whether your time at that company has already reached it’s ceiling, and whether you should move on. If you don’t want extra responsibility, maybe you aren’t really interested in promotions and what they come with, which is perfectly fine, but that also might imply something about how much money you’ll ever be able to make.
A lot of managers and companies definitely will look at superficial indicators of how “invested” and “engaged” you are in your job, so it’s up to you to figure out how to display the right set of indications that you’re above-average in terms of your commitment compared to your fellow employees. Talking to your manager a lot is helpful in that regard, but not necessarily in a critical or adversarial way, more in a help them do their job kind of way.
Being told you lost rating over PTO is pretty awful, that seems like cause for some kind of action - however you probably shouldn’t trust HR by default, you should probably communicate to your manager that you feel it was rather unfair, and remind them about the extra time you put in. Is it possible your manager was surprised by your PTO, or did you plan well in advance and remind them beforehand? Did you communicate the extra hours you were putting in before and during the time you were doing it? Do other managers break the PTO policy, or is it just your manager? Are other people on your team having the same problem? There are always shitty managers, maybe that is your problem, and not something more general. Are you on the radar of your manager’s manager?
If your manager is toxic, you might be trapped, and the best move you can make is to leave, not to confront them. But if your expectations are a little higher than others and/or you’re making assumptions and getting upset before having had a complete conversation, then it’s possible you could start those conversations and put yourself on a better path.
