Even assuming that's true, it doesn't follow that every literal interpretation should be or is understood as pejorative, which leads to the question of why this one should be understood that way.

Given that toxic masculinity has specific definitions and specific criticisms to offer that distinguish critically targeted behavior AND also has associated discussion affirming desirable masculine behavior, it makes much more sense to treat it as a specific technique than a general attack on masculinity.

Unless, of course, you think that things like bullying or other forms of social violence for the purpose of establishing personal dominance or personal entertainment is part and parcel with masculinity. Which sounds kindof, I don't know... poisonous or something to me.

Gender norms that are criticised by feminists are in real life frequently re-enforced by women for example. Even feminists like much of the political left are also fragmented and have differing opinions. This lack of a consensus combined with an expectation to behave in a specific way and a group that can be somewhat trigger happy in going from "statistically this group of people is privileged" to "this person from this group is privileged" is I think deeply problematic and challenging to navigate as a men. I also think it's incredibly stupid from political standpoint.

Unfortunately it's difficult to engage in such discussions in a constructive way because they are very attractive to people who see feminists as an enemy.

Forbes and Psychology Today are long-tail low-relevance now?

> What isn't said, is that the expectation to become a competent man who is tries to support his family can also be a positive example of masculinity

Something along these lines is said in many substantial discussions of masculinity (including the one I pointed to in GP). You want other examples?

https://umatter.princeton.edu/respect-matters/healthy-mascul...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2mzxeViCko

https://www.buzzfeed.com/sydrobinson1/examples-of-positive-m...

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/05/becoming-...

Nobody is attacking competence as toxic, or support of family as toxic.

What is actually critiqued is a normalization of social violence, commenting on bullying or assault with "oh, boys will be boys," dismissal of feelings with "walk it off," the idea that real men don't go to therapy or turn to people for emotional help, etc etc.

One can only think of that as a general attack on masculinity if... that's what you think masculinity is. Which sounds bona fide toxic to me.