> No matter where I go I am expected to work my ass off.
> ...
> But then that's "leaving money on the table", and we just can't have that...
Sounds to me like you expect to not have to "work your ass off", but also maximize your pay. I just don't see why you would expect these things to be compatible. There are plenty of opportunities to work 30-hour weeks, if that's what you want. But you're not gonna be making FAANG-level comp -- for good reason: you're giving you employer less, so they give you less in return. If you and I worked at the same company, and you were putting out half the output as me, then I would expect to get twice the comp as you. You're trying to bypass this -- produce half the output as me but still get the same pay. I just don't see why you think that's justified.
If you want to work 30 hours, then take one of the many jobs that accommodate that (hmu if you legitimately can't find one) and accept the pay cut. If you don't want to make that sacrifice, that's on you.
That's my $.02, anyway.