In the post-FIRE relationships disconnect post, it was jarring how he went from having what I saw as a
reasonably well communicated discussion to "she couldn't get her head around us being different." Seems like the understood each other, but had different priorities. Each also seemed to have a bit of disdain for the other's way of thinking.
He saw her desires as vain and felt like she didn't understand his ideal of freedom. She saw his freedom as stagnation.