> proprietary extensions are not possible
Create a second library that links to the LGPL one and extends its behavior.
> dynamic linking is mandatory
It's also good practice most of the time.
> the whole hassle of including any tools or data for recompiling said LGPL library and
Only if you change it. If you didn't change it, you can just redistribute the tarball you used.
> the patents grant is implicit rather than explicit
It's still there.
> Just because you can do something, it doesn't mean you want to.
I get it you don't want it, but, just because you don't want it doesn't mean you can't
