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0 pointsSassyGrapefruit4y ago0 comments

Whether or not the author is "redeemable" is irrelevant. At its core sexual misconduct is prioritizing one's own needs/desires and using someone else as an object to achieve them. It's one of the highest acts of self centeredness and it happens at someone else's expense.

I don't see how writing an article about how the author's sexual misconduct has impacted him isn't a continuation of the same problem mentality.

It would seem that if he had a breakthrough then letting the victims have the stage is the way to go. I believe he has to accept that...

1. No one is obligated to forgive him.

2. No one asked for him to do what he did.

3. No one has to let by gones be by gones.

4. He doesn't necessarily get to make art anymore. At least not the same way he used to.

I don't think that is what the author wants to hear, but its the only honorable path forward.

0 comments

overgard4y ago

I didn't see this as asking for anything. The blog post is both instructional, ie here's what happens, and an explanation. I just don't see how this notion that a person should be punished forever is helpful to anyone. He's paid a hefty price why continue to pile on? Also just because he created victims doesn't mean he himself isn't also a victim. Do you really think he deserved death threats? Do you think it was ok that overzealous people (such as a lot of the people in this thread) thought it was ok to terrorize his wife as well?

Many people convicted of actual felonies don't face consequences like this. This guy has been convicted of... nothing illegal apparently?

For some reason on an individual level people are willing to forgive someone for their past transgressions, but as soon as it goes to a public forum everyone needs to talk about how this person should be vilified forever to signal what a great person they personally are. To twitter mobs, any transgression against a protected group is grounds for permanent ostracism, even if the transgression is pretty mild by societies standards. I don't think we should be encouraging mob justice. 1000/1000 times in human history mob justice has always gone way too far.

SassyGrapefruitOP4y ago

In the end it's about fairness. I think we all agree that the perpetrator shouldn't find respite before the victims. Unfortunately for the victims and the perpetrator that respite doesn't exist.

He may regret what he did and he certainly deserves forgiveness, but forgiveness and consequences are two different things. He has my forgiveness and I hope the victims choose to forgive him as well. The consequences are likely a permanent feature of his life.