What if you deposit your cash in a regular brokerage account and every week sell an equal amount (that is, one contract for every 100 shares you can afford to buy) of at-the-money puts on GLD? This is literally digital gold.
If the probability of gold going to zero (or GLD) is essentially nothing, and inflation is inevitably going to pick up, then this feels plausibly "risk free". The worst that can happen is you are assigned some shares, which you can sell or sell calls on. In any case, people are apparently willing to pay a surprising amount for short term volatility on it.
Even better, you can buy the cheapest longest dated out-of-the-money put to lay off some risk at minimal cost.
You may be able to do this on Robinhood, I haven't tried.
Just an idea...of course analyzing how this could hide large risks would be interesting.
