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0 pointsb1124y ago0 comments

I think it's a shame, that negotiations have to end up so... damaging.

There's no reason for it, but ego, and emotionalism on both sides. Saying:

"I'm at a point where remote matters to me quite a bit, and I won't sacrifice pay for it. If you can't do it, I'll start applying with those who will, but I thought I owed you the honest truth."

It doesn't need to be emotionally driven. Just honest truth.

And I get that, as you say, bizarrely negative consequences can follow.

Me? I respect the truth. I can work with it. I want to hear it.

Many don't.

Yet, maybe this is an additional indicator of employer value, and potential toxicity?

0 comments

ohazi4y ago

> Me? I respect the truth. I can work with it. I want to hear it.

> Many don't.

We're not negotiating with you, we're negotiating with an average boss picked out of the "many" pile.

b112OP4y ago

My comment was aimed at employers, which react poorly to reality/truth.

I get that this causes issues for many.

lotsofpulp4y ago

> There's no reason for it, but ego, and emotionalism on both sides. Saying:

That is what people say when they have options and can dictate terms. It only gets emotional when one party does not have the clear upper hand and so tries to “feel” the other party out to see what they will yield.

b112OP4y ago

Right, yet the employee's emotionalism here, stems from many employers making this an emotional event.

So my "no reason for it" was stated with this in mind.

As an employer, I'd like to know. Other employers seem to be vindictive, which I find bizarre. Worse, enough employers act this way, that they poison the pool.

Then these same employers act surprised, and wonder why they get little warning when an employee leaves.

Silly.

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse

0 pointsb1124y ago0 comments

I think it's a shame, that negotiations have to end up so... damaging.

There's no reason for it, but ego, and emotionalism on both sides. Saying:

"I'm at a point where remote matters to me quite a bit, and I won't sacrifice pay for it. If you can't do it, I'll start applying with those who will, but I thought I owed you the honest truth."

It doesn't need to be emotionally driven. Just honest truth.

And I get that, as you say, bizarrely negative consequences can follow.

Me? I respect the truth. I can work with it. I want to hear it.

Many don't.

Yet, maybe this is an additional indicator of employer value, and potential toxicity?

0 comments

ohazi4y ago

> Me? I respect the truth. I can work with it. I want to hear it.

> Many don't.

We're not negotiating with you, we're negotiating with an average boss picked out of the "many" pile.

b112OP4y ago

My comment was aimed at employers, which react poorly to reality/truth.

I get that this causes issues for many.

lotsofpulp4y ago

> There's no reason for it, but ego, and emotionalism on both sides. Saying:

b112OP4y ago

Right, yet the employee's emotionalism here, stems from many employers making this an emotional event.

So my "no reason for it" was stated with this in mind.

As an employer, I'd like to know. Other employers seem to be vindictive, which I find bizarre. Worse, enough employers act this way, that they poison the pool.

Then these same employers act surprised, and wonder why they get little warning when an employee leaves.

Silly.

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse