> A lot of people who I knew as sympathetic and calm before they took management roles turned into something I could code in one minute: namely a program that asks "how much is this going to take?" and if your answer is above N hours/days then they say "no, we're not doing it". And that's not because they are stupid or suddenly non-sympathetic. It's because their bosses optimize for those metrics and measure them (and their salary, and their bonuses, and even their vacation days) by the same metrics.
I had this exact same thought recently when reflecting on my behavior in my new role as a "technical product owner". All of it was reflexive, as if I suddenly forgot all of the software engineering knowledge I accumulated over the years and became a deadline-driven cog.
I don't have a solution yet; I think it comes down to that I don't yet speak the same language that people I report to do, and thus I feel like I can't defend my position well enough. It comes with experience, I guess!