Especially I'm spending $1000 USD on the thing.
Find a new proto-appliance to hack and shape, or buy from a different philosophy vendor.
Locking down devices without an escape hatch enables rent seeking and hampers innovation and creativity.
I understand your point of view, but also understand that the future where the only open hardware is expensive one-off specialty stuff is rapidly approaching. Either through legal means, or limited availability, companies are posturing themselves to be the gatekeepers + rent seekers, and will hamper new 'out-of-the-box' ideas.
You cant force a seller/company to accept every form of payment or payment processor. Especially one that takes 30% cut, and says they cant sell their goods themself to people (aka sideload).
Not only does such system seem insane for a normal payment processor. It also effects you the purchaser in multiple ways. Since to use this payment system you cant make the choice to buy anything but through them. It also prevents in you from fully owning your own hardware.
So the end results they force both developers and users through them. I find the effect of not allowing side-loading even more egregious because once apple sells the phone they no longer own it.
But that argument is tired. These 'smart phones' have been advertised as PC Replacements. "Run your software, your games, your choice." To many people it is the only computer they will personally own.
They are computers with cellular modems and other useful sensors built in. That's it. There are magnitudes of people with the know how to operate these things and take full responsibility for their operation and maintenance. There are scores of people who could more easily creatively use these devices in ways we can't even imagine now.
Everyday these vendors prevent free and clear operation of this type of hardware, they hamper innovation, in favor of short term profits.
And also; to reply specifically regarding the fridge, to be honest, I actually do want to run my own code there: CPU based controller boards in appliances tend to be obnoxiously prices for replacement. The cost of the parts for a controller board + related software can't possibly be more than a RPi computer and a bunch of relays. The fridge's computer's code is probably running a software based PID controller, that could be sourced anywhere else, and perhaps even software optimized to take advantage of better energy usage algorithms.
So again, locked down hardware, short term profits. "$300 part bad on a $800 fridge, just buy a new one and throw the old one away"