If you're truly clueless as to what could be substituted for these commands, then you don't understand why they're banned. So our first step? Figure out why they're banned. And how would we sanely approach this? Probably by checking the commit message for _why that code is there in the first place_. That's a very safe, sane, and not-at-all backwards assumption. After you understand why it's there, a quick google search might help out if the commit message didn't already include information on alternatives.
Lastly, yeah, I totally agree a large amount of GOOD comments should be relegated to the git commits if all they're doing is adding additional context around a complex piece of logic. Comments do not exist to edifying a code base in any way other than context. They're too easy to let become stale, whereas a git commit will always reference exactly the code you're blaming.
So, I have to really disagree that it's ridiculous or in any way absurd. In fact, I think a lot of code suffers from NOT using git as a way to extend context around a code base. It's SUPER easy with most development environments to select a block of text and blame it. It's so easy that it's almost always my go-to to increase my context of what's been happening around a particular part of the code base.
