It's not about offering subjects control, it's about weighing the impact to the individual against the public interest of the reporting.
You seem to be under the impression that journalists are under no obligation with regard to how their reporting impacts their subjects, even when that subject is not a public figure per se. I'm pretty sure that's something that even most journalists (at least those working at relatively prestigious institutions) would disagree with.
Again, you are justifying Gawker-style journalism, which is pretty atrocious and doesn't serve to create a better informed public.