> So far only big matrix provider are reliable and performant enough to be usable.
I've been running a Matrix homeserver on a 1/1 VM for years without any issues. There is no downside to choosing a small server, you can still federate with everyone else. That's the entire point.
Same here. Except joining rooms on federated instance need something beefier than my $5/month VPS SSD. And much more storage for data (pet peeve of mine: 4K avatars pics that are not resized and stored as is on my end of the federation).
