It is a bit sad, since I was quite successful in building networks, outside of my own companies: I am surrounded by a lot of entrepreneur-type people which I consider my friends, I have friendly investors lined up to support my product ideas. And I have at least 20 more "good ideas" that could be worth pursuing, but I am very reluctant to do so.
So, two years ago, I extracted myself from everything. I've read what must now be at least two dozen "therapy books", started therapy with external professionals, but it doesn't feel like anything is bringing me closer to "the problem".
I've always tried to establish an open culture, flat hierarchies, openly talking about things. But I became careful about it too, since I don't want to push stuff on others if they don't see the need. If it is always only me that wants to talk about such things, and rarely anyone else has anything to say, everybody is just waiting for me to "declare" how to do things, what the priorities should be... In all these years, I can remember only a couple of situations where anyone suggested to do something different from what I suggested.
Yes, very likely I am "not a good leader". I recognize this. I don't want to be. I "just" want to have teams where you do stuff together, because it is fun, because it has a purpose, because it makes money, whatever. It works a lot better in situations where everyone has their own agenda and is not hired by "my company".
What I always hoped for is to end up with a "real co-founder", but that never happened. I have lots of "co-founder friends", but of course we are all passionate about our own ideas... so lately I've been thinking, I should finally join some existing effort, instead of trying again and again to get my own efforts off the ground.