Dude, chill. I have worked on Wall St for over a decade at this point . There is a huge, HUGE diversity. Some use toolsets they are comfortable with, others with what they get interested in ( after it crosses a certain stability threshold ofcourse ). BTW R itself gained mainstream acceptance in 2009+. I can imagine you saying in 2008 no quant in their right minds would use R, its just too new. It was new then, but it's defacto now. That was true of OCaml which Jane St uses almost everywhere now but didn't do so just a few years back. Ofcourse there are quants using C++ for all their risk analytics - 50% of my classmates got hired on that very credential! As to Java, I have personally written trading software for IBs in Java way back in 2002 that used pricing modules for all the instruments also written in Java. Guess how mainstream Java was back then ? Finally, there are actually fairly decent risk analytics DSLs in Scala out there.

Other than reporting ( you really can't compete with SAP/Crystal Reports on that front), solutions in Scala address the rest of your legitimate concerns using DCOM hooks to pre-existing C libraries & DLLs. Why reinvent the wheel ?

I don't see why you are getting so worked up about my "inexperienced rant". I simply described a real-life situation I encountered which I felt was funny viz. highly risk-taking alpha personalities getting hugely risk-averse when it comes to something quite innocent like language adoption.