But then also staying in cold detached relationship ain't the best for the child either - they are very perceptive and seeing everyday cold parents relationship affects them negatively too. There isn't a nice, quick and easy solution for everybody without some real chance of harm for the most vulnerable - that's why it often becomes one's low point of life. You know its bad for the person you love the most, and you don't have a clear win scenario. Amicable split with good care from both sides is probably best, but unfortunately rarely seen.

Fuck I wish we were taught more these kind of things in schools (selection of life partner is tricky, test the relationship and each other hard before having children, but also things like effective communication, teamwork, how to generally thrive in system - ie taxes, how to setup a 1-man company etc.). Imagine nation of people raised like that, instead of memorizing tons of stuff that was forgotten very quickly but spent a lot of time/energy on.

And he will still have to cooperate with ex. (Through here it sounds like fairly doable.)

You should acknowledge and try to fulfill your emotional needs as well.

I had a REALLY bad example in my mother who changed her mind multiple times about divorcing my father for the sake of me and my sister. That mental model of self-sacrifice made me unable to breakup with my (now) wife after some major red flags.

If you want to re-connect with your wife, absolutely tell her that and acknowledge to yourself and her that you do have emotional/romantic needs, and that your child absolutely is a reason in your willingness to give your relationship another go, but you will not be forever happy or stay in this arrangement.

Just this, as small and simple as a one minute hug made a huge difference and generated other benefits.