For example, in 2008 I took a step into the big leagues (as I saw it). I had a mid-grade developers salary ($75k) for a couple years, and 7 years in the industry, and I wanted to step up.

I found a great opporunity for a profitable bootsrtapped startup in a beautiful city but one that was not by any stretch a technology hub.

I nailed a phone interview. He asked what I was looking for. I said $110k, match my current 3.4 week vacation, and $6k for relocation. He asked what I was making now. "About 10% less than that" i said. (I fibbed).

I focus on the top-line. The relo and extra vacation were nice, but most importantly they were bargaining chips.

I was flown down for interviews. Things went great. HR directory during the interview asked my comp needs, I told her the same I told the manager on the phone the previous week.

Everything went great. I flew home. Two days later, I get a call from HR lady.

"We think you'd be a great addition to the team. We'd like to extend you an offer."

Her offer was.... $75k, match my vaca and my relco request. My heart sank.

I paused for a moment and said "I make more than that now (lie). My original quote has some room to negotiate but that's outside my range." To which she said "We think this is fair, many of our senior guys make this." We talked for 10 more mins, I was getting nowhere. She was your usual hard-nosed HR type. So I excused myself and told her I'm thrilled they made and offer and I'd like some time to think it over.

For a moment I was bitter. That this was all a waste of my time. I flew across the country. I told them up front the range I was considering. Twice!

But then I thought, it's possible that they have no less a notion of actually paying me $75k than I have of actually getting everything in my quote.

So, I decided I needed to skirt HR. The hiring manager gave me his card at the interview. I called his office line. I said "Look, let me level with you" (lie) "The comp package I presented to you is fair I think. But I'd be willing to give a little back and earn the rest on merit once I'm working for you. I think being on your team would be a great thing for my career. But i just cannot take a pay cut to work for you." He asked what I was making now. I reiterated my fib from earlier. "I've hit bonus here every year, and my total comp is about $100k exactly."

I thought, I'm making him wince. He had to feel like he came up with a good deal. But my lie here boxed him in. He could offer $100k -- a lateral move -- but that seems a little wrong. He could do a token increase -- $103k but that seems almost a joke.

I hadn't yet actually made a counter-proposal, so I did just that. I was going to start by sacrificing the extra vaca. That extra 1.4 weeks vacation was a benefit worth about $3k a year at this rate. But in my preamble he just in passing made a comment about the vacation not being a problem because it's a small company and HR isn't really involved in that, the manager approves vacation without any guidelines or limits.

So, the next lamb on my list was the relo money. I had 3 positions built-in to my $6k quote:

1) I designed it so they could easily counter at a nice round $5k, feel like they got a good deal, and my relo was largely paid for.

2) I would propose that I pay for relo out of pocket and the reimburse me only for the movers themselves -- about $3k

3) Outright elimination.

I said "honestly, I really want to come work for you (true). I know my current comp is so high that you're boxed-in a bit, I'm already up against the top of your range it seems. (lie).

"I've used United Vanlines before. They were great. Some looking around made me feel the movers themselves would cost about $3k. In lieu of cash, I would be happy to pay the relo out of pocket and then submit the invoice from United for reimbursement. "

He talked around it for a mement then he tipped his hand a bit: "I like the creativity", he began, "but honestly the CEO here is against any kind of cash payment for new hires. No signing bonus. No relocation. Etc. He pays it, but begrudgingly. We feel we'd rather spread that money around to existing team members because you never know how a new hire will work out."

Then he said "I'll talk this over. We can probably find a way to match what you're making now if we go ahead and just reimburse you for the movers."

I liked where he was going with that but we werent' there yet. I cut him off.

"Truthfully, you live in a gorgeous city. It's no doubt an amazing place to live. I really feel like a 10% raise and a chance to work for you will make me feel good about the decision to leave behind all my roots here, all my friends and family. I really want to come work for you guys but I feel like any hint of shortchanging myself will start us off on the wrong foot. If we can make another go at that $110k quote, I'd be happy to pay relocation out of my pocket.

He said he'd have to run it by the CEO.

He calls back 30 mins later. "The best we can do is $109k and the normal process where we do a review and increase after 6 months would, for you, be moved to your 1 year anniversary. Now tell me, when can you start?"

I was elated. I just got myself a $35,000 raise. A nearly 50% increase on top of my $75k base.

Having the givebacks is important! It got me a LOT more from than.

A little post-game analysis though:

1) I thought the HR woman always hated me. Maybe because I went around her. Maybe because she thought they were grossly overpaying me. I dunno.

2) I later learned i was the highest paid guy on the team. When I ascended into a management roll I was given access to salary info though, in an oversight from HR, my managers salary was also listed. What did he have the month I was hired? An increase. From $106k to $116k. My negotiation got HIM a raise. A manager can't make less than his reports.

3) Being the highest paid guy isn't a good thing. It's really hard to outperform everybody else. So onlookers -- like, say, a micro managing CEO -- will question the salary gap. Also, I won't forget the day I bought a new Mercedes and I was asked to not make a big deal out of it and if asked, say that "I saved up for this for years." Ugh. Please.

4) NEGOTIATE EVERYTHING in the future.

5) I would've been smart to negotiate myself a future raise. Because I wasn't given any increase for 18 months, and even then only after pestering.

EDIT:

Let me add that I did this to deliberately try to swing for the fences. I was happy enough where I was.

Also, I had a perfect resume for this company. My technical merits were very strong, but more importantly, I had a lot of relevant domain knowledge.

I therefore felt i was in a strong bargaining position. Nowadays, if you're good at what you do, the way it';s so hard to find good devs means you probably are in a strong position as well.