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0 pointsgaukes5y ago0 comments

Narcissism isn’t necessarily characterized by strength even though we imagine the quintessential narcissist people to be “strong” and “driven”. That may be true in their professional lives but not personal.

Narcissists are driven by external validation and appearance, yes. So much so that they forget the people most important to their lives are humans too, not tools or ornaments of achievement. When these relationships sour, there’s a lot of self-doubt, not about the achievements, but if the trade offs are really worth it in the end.

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notacoward5y ago

Nobody's defending narcissism. My objection was to reflexively associating these problems with narcissism, and by answering only in the context of narcissism you're still equating the two. So let me even more blunt: that theory is so weak that it's almost self-refuting. Let's try to apply it to the OP and see just how badly it goes.

The first item on the list is inability to celebrate. How does that suggest narcissism? Can it not be explained at least as well by feelings that the subject of celebration is undeserved, transitory, and subject to reversal?

The second item on the list is inability to rest. How does that suggest narcissism? Can it not be explained at least as well by feelings that one is an impostor, unable to keep up without making extra effort?

And so on. Every connection you claim points to narcissism actually points even more strongly somewhere else. Narcissism causes problems, to be sure, but it's far from the only thing that can cause these problems. Claiming that these issues are all about narcissism is tantamount to claiming that conventionally-measured success itself is all about narcissism. As I said, it comes across as a big load of sour grapes.

Nasrudith5y ago

Really many on the list seems far more neuroticism or compulsion than narcissism in either the clincial or colloquial sense. "Good habits" to an excess.