I ended up reading the specs and found them very clear, and wrote my own xDS implementation: https://github.com/jrockway/ekglue/blob/master/pkg/xds/xds.g... I did this after reading the source code for the most popular xDS implementations and finding myself horrified (you know the popular xDS implementation I'm talking about). Now I have a framework for writing whatever xDS server I desire, and it can be as simple or as complex as I want it. For example, for my use cases, I'm perfectly happy with a static route table. It is very clear what it does, so I have that. What annoyed me was having to configure the backends from Kubernetes for every little service I wanted to expose to the outside world. So I wrote ekglue, which turns Kubernetes services and endpoints into Envoy clusters and Envoy cluster load assignments. This means that I never have to touch the tedious per-cluster configs, and still get features like zone aware load balancing. And I don't have to take on complexity I don't want -- the woefully under-specified Kubernetes Ingress standard, service meshes, etc. (I also plan to use ekglue for service-to-service traffic because xDS is built into gRPC now... just haven't needed it yet. It's great to use the same piece of software for two use cases, without having to maintain and read about features I don't need.)
TL;DR: take a look at the spec. It's really well thought out and easy to implement. Just don't cut-n-paste from Istio because they got it really wrong.