Based on what I heard from other folks (I am an immigrant and have no first hand experience) your experience seems pretty typical in early 90s. There were of course different setups, but I do not think it is primarily based on class or income. They were schools that pushed kids, but they were statistically rare. In 1990, being up until 2AM several times a week doing school projects would be considered insane. Now, while not universal, it is not unheard of.

But I think you hit the nail on the head mentioning the current "your life is on file, no mistakes allowed" setup. To me, it is critical to let kids try things, including stupid things, and learn from their mistakes without having those mistakes affect every job search 20 years later.

I think the pendulum will eventually swing back, but the generation growing up in the current setup will have to try the same stupidities and learn similar things as adults, at a much higher cost. My 2c.