I'm not trying to "guilt" anybody. Please don't spin my words.
My two points are related. I recall hearing comments like that when my spouse and I had one infant child, and I remember taking them more personally, because it's easy as a new parent to feel like you should be doing more. Now if I hear someone comment on something I'm doing as a parent, it's just conversation, and I think the primary difference was my confidence in my own parenting ability.