Well, clarifying what you mean to people that don't know you is not really mincing words: a lot of implicit things can remain unsaid with people that do know you, but that doesn't mean it should be possible to leave them unsaid at all.

I don't think she's trying to accomplish anything; she's just being blatantly honest and care-free, without taking into consideration how Joe Random may (reasonably) interpret what she's saying.

I don't get whats so outrageous that some people can say things that others can't. Context is everything, especially in language. I see this argument all the time when it comes to race and sex, and I just don't get it. It seems completely disingenuous to me. Confusion explained the difference well so I won't repeat it.

Let me ask you this, why is it so outrageous that its worth calling her out and making assumptions about her motivations just because she said something that you couldn't get away with?