So it turns out that the use-case for a polyfill of a 77KB image decoder isn't particular suited to a site you want to load in sub 100ms. Oddly, though, that's not the only usecase in the world, and there are circumstances where saving ~30% on every image load turns out to be significantly more efficient than not loading a 77KB JS library.

In other news, I also chose to forgo adding a 15 lb. fuel pump to my go-kart, despite the fact that every NASCAR team in the world uses one, and my go-kart drives just fine. I should go tell the NASCAR teams that fuel pumps are a terrible idea. I clearly know something they don't.