I submit to you that you don't sound jealous, because it really doesn't fit the rest of what you express; I suggest that you are maybe "envious¹" in the sense that jealousy means envy + depriving the other of what they have ("it should be me and not them", it's a matter of exclusivity, like being jealous of #1 if you finished second, or jealous of the one dating someone you love, or whoever took your job/offer). You don't sound hostile to them, merely wishing more for yourself (which in itself is a positive feeling?)

I really don't know what the word you meant to use in your own language actually meant (I'm French personally, so English is just our medium translation layer). But I'm curious, culturally you know, about these nuances².

I'd love it if you could just introspect that feeling a bit and share what it really feels like, the complex emotion and what it "touches" in you (does it bring despair, or motivation, or resolve, etc). [if it's too personal, I got email, just ask]

Personally, I can feel "aspiring to" or "inspiration from" people who achieved more than me — I don't want to deprive them of anything, I don't wish they failed, nor do I wish to belittle their accomplishments; however I'd love to eat everything they know, steal like the greatest of artists (the good ones merely copy!), that is at best become friends with these people and let them influence me (the true deeper meaning of that book³, if you ask me). And I know, somehow deep down, that the more I'd be rooting for these friends, helping them go further, the more I'd be moving forward/up as well, taken in by the positive storm.

[1]: envy is “a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.”

[2]: Part of my (personal) research on human nature, motivations, "what makes us do what we do".

[3]: How to win friends and influence people, by Dale Carnegie