Matrix project lead here; fwiw we’re aiming to turn on E2E by default for private rooms by end of Jan. It’s not really a non-standard add-on; it’s in the core of the protocol and has been designed for from the outset. It’s a pain in the ass to get right in a decentralised world though, hence the delay in forcing it on for everyone.
p.s. support for ephemeral msgs was released on the server in RC yesterday.