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0 pointsvonseel6y ago0 comments

Understood, but you also have to remember you can't control how your friends communicate. I'd be perfectly fine communicating only via iMessage, but most of my friends have social media accounts and when I quit FB/Instagram and stopped liking their posts, I had less presence in their lives. Think about that - social networks are almost like an Internet schoolyard; just upvoting something shows presence and lets everyone else know that you're in the room.

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gfo6y ago

To me, it's opting into different means for keeping in touch and hence, keeping that "presence" in my friends' lives.

I quit Facebook a year ago - I had 800+ friends. I was only "close" (subjectively) with a slim fraction of that. Now, I text, call, send birthday cards, and use other means to communicate with those I truly care about. Not that I don't care about the other, it's more of my way to prioritize the people who I've shared more life experiences with and/or can better relate to.

If I see the others who aren't in that close circle, we have plenty to talk about. If I see my close friends, well, we do as close friends always have done.

No offense, but I would argue the notion of needing "presence" in people's lives contains some inherent narcissism which is also prevalent on social media; and to be fair, the other piece is the need for belonging. True, it was a tough pill to swallow when first disconnecting, but over time this faded and via the other means I suggested, I've found I get that same level of belonging.

jbverschoor6y ago

It's the equivalent of body-in-seat nonsense.

greggman26y ago

I'm not sure that's true. if 3 people like a post I see 3 names. If 15 people like a post I see 3 names so 12 people went unnoticed. Is that presence?

d3sandoval6y ago

If you really care for each other, they'll find a way. My family has realized that group message are the only way to communicate quickly with one another. I have friends and family with whom I correspond via snail mail. And email bridges the gap between those who prefer digital, but not texting. As others have said, the conversations are more meaningful, even if they are less frequent

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