I completely agree on how hard this is. However, I've built the best relationships with managers where I kept my foot down once in a while. I guess they like the struggle and the honesty in the end.

I've run a business longer than a decade so I know how hard it is and I've burned out several times over. But I just don't give up and a no has certainly become a NO.

I feel like this is why lead technologists turn over so often. Because they say the harsh reality that no one wants to hear, and no one cares that they are right, they just care that they are not delivering to their expectations. Maybe the issue is the expectation.