Eventually I just gave up and added an extra 'parent:' argument to an interface, for the one place it was actually needed. It's a bit more awkward than just keeping parent references in the tree nodes, but not too bad.
For situations with multiple queues or threads, the situation is even worse. I wrap a lot of my GCD code in extra locks, which by my reading of the documentation shouldn't be necessary. Without them, it occasionally crashes with strange memory errors that are impossible to figure out.
I felt like I wasted a few hours trying to track down my issue, the other day, and then come up with an alternative solution, while in any other modern language I could just have used a normal reference and counted on the GC to clean up the cycles when I'm done.
Backwards compatibility with Objective-C obviously has tremendous value to Apple, and ARC is smaller and faster than tracing GC, but I feel like I'm paying for it over and over. In most HLLs, once I get past the low-level parts, I'm using a language specifically designed for my task, and I never have to touch the low-level parts again. Swift feels more like fancy C, in that I don't think I'll ever be able to stop thinking about subtle memory management issues.