So many people I know lived in Japan 5 years and can barely speak it. Some are even wholly dependant on their wife to manage all their affairs because they can't function in society.

I never set foot in Japan before I was fluent because I moved to the city where all the exchange students came to learn English and I did nothing but hang out and speak Japanese with them.

I know what you mean. Methods can make or break your success in a way. But the method isn't the reason for it. It's the conduit. I remember when I first started learning I went to the bookstore and got one of those shitty teach yourself Japanese phrase books. I got 1/3 the way through then I got stuck on this page and I just couldn't get it. I couldnt get how to count some stuff and I couldn't move on until I got it. I threw the book in the trash but not my dream. I went in search of another way to learn it. I came across many obstacles and the caring led me to always search for another way.

Today the last of the caring is ebbing out of me after 10 long, fun years. And with it is going my skills.