That's a good counter-point to my comment. I have observed the same, I should have realized it too, as I work with them in my current job. The Japanese also have the concept of "karōshi" or "death by overwork", as I understand it. So there are definitely extremes and software engineering it is no exception.

I guess then it falls back to the OP's question, in the sense, is it something soul crushing about the nature of coding, software engineering etc.?

Having felt the crush myself, I often attribute it to the endless hamster wheel of always being behind on all the developments because it changes so fast, and never seeming "good enough" for the particular job or project. That's a little bit of "imposter syndrome" speaking, but it's also a lot of reality - job requirements vs. what you know often seeming to be at odds with one another.