Balls were definitely dropped. My understanding of the Lazy FPU event is that (a) someone at Intel asked if OpenBSD signed NDAs and was told no, then shrugged their shoulders and didn't pursue it any further; and (b) someone at OpenBSD tried to get in touch with Intel, but didn't talk to the right people (Intel is very siloed), and didn't get anywhere.

I've witnessed conversations since then between Intel people and FreeBSD people basically consisting of FreeBSD people saying "you guys really need to include OpenBSD" and Intel people saying "yeah... can you help get us connected with the right people?" so I don't think it's fair to suggest that OpenBSD is being purposely excluded.

Is OpenBSD supposed to comply with secret terms

I think that OpenBSD should follow the norms of the security community, i.e., contacting other operating system vendors and coordinating disclosures -- regardless of how they come across a vulnerability.