> What is this system that prevents pattern-of-life analysis while still sending all DNS queries to one nameserver?
Setting $CACHE_TTL to "months" on everything, and doing nothing else.
> I'm still sending frequent short-TTL (normal caching) DNS lookups for most hosts that would betray my pattern-of-life in aggregate.
Your system does that. This theoretical mildly-inferior system would not have frequent DNS lookups for any record type.