San Diego, and yes, bought a home in 2006 (smart move!) before we got married. The mortgage, deed, title, everything was in my name only, as my ex-wife (girlfriend at the time) had shitty credit, and zero savings. The house was deeply underwater the entire marriage, up until we split in 2016, when it would maaaaybe break even money if I sold it. I was renting a tiny studio apartment at the time, while still paying the mortgage, plus child and spousal support. I decided to try to stay in the house, since I didn't have the $3000-$5000 it takes for security deposits to rent, and I was hoping that if I could hold onto it, the value would increase to a point where I might come out with some money. I can't afford it at all, but so far I have been able to piece together payments before going into foreclosure, so I guess that's a win.

The thing about divorce that I didn't realize is that making the decision to get divorced in the first place is the easiest and least painful of many choices you will need to make as a result.