Lift weights and perform intense physical activity to exhaustion.
Don’t smoke tobacco or cannabis. Don’t really drink either.
Meditation.
12-step work.
Wellbutrin (bupropion) has helped me out of holes.
Have close friends to confide in.
Say what you’re thinking. Don’t say what you’re not thinking.
Follow pointless dreams in some measure. For me, being able to buy a legendary Husaberg FE 570 motorcycle was an impossible dream, until I tried going for it. Managed to do it on a startup salary over the course of a year. It has brought me deep spiritual satisfaction.
Help others.
Be humble. Ask to be humble. Ask for your ego to be smashed.
Read books. Listen to music. Make music.
> Say what you’re thinking. Don’t say what you’re not thinking.
But I Love this one. :)
Even reading about other people's trips on ADVrider lightens my mood, and my own trips have brought me priceless memories.
I did it without a classical God btw. The steps say to use a God such as we understand one. I used a non-deistic definition. God is in our capacity for trust and intimacy and altruism as a species, perhaps? Hard to pin it down. It worked.
If you have mild depression, or want to not get depressed in the first place, I'd recommend the following:
Do exercise, do it outside if at all possible. Even light exercise like going for a walk is better than none. Don't take your phone.
Turn off and shut away your electronic devices an hour before you go to bed. Under no circumstances have your phone by your bed. Buy an alarm clock if need be. Disrupting sleep is the best way to get depressed quickly.
Delete or neuter[1] your social media accounts. They are engineered to make you feel bad (so you click ads).
Get something to look after. A dog, or if you don't have time or space, a cat, or if you really don't have time or space a plant or two.
Put effort into your relationships with friends. Even if you don't feel it's being reciprocated. No friends where you are now? Find local meetups and go to them regularly. e.g. Parkrun, reading group, musical group, dev meetups. Keep going every week.
Put effort into yourself. Tidy up your living space, dress and groom well every morning.
As someone with two dogs and occasional bouts of mild depression, I would caution against getting a dog for this purpose.
It's a lot of responsibility, and it helps some people with depression but hurts others. A plant is a much better idea. If it doesn't work out, just throw it away. You can't (easily/responsibly) get rid of a dog, in many cases.
My depression this year has been the worst ever - because of external factors like losing a good source of income, getting hired by an employer who then never paid, and some marital issues around faith/church (I left the church we belong to (Mormonism) because I no longer believe and am leaning Agnostic), and then celebrity(Chester Bennington)/external influences of people I know who died by suicide. Plus, I can't help feeling that death's around the corner and could happen any day. Watching 13 Reasons Why probably wasn't a great thing to do either in hindsight, though it was a pretty good series.
I've gone from one month making 7k to <500 the next and spending all our savings just to get by. I'm trying to build up my freelance docket, and hopefully through word of mouth grow out of this phase (plug: Laravel + Vue is my stack).
The point of the rant is... without my son, I think I probably would've done the unthinkable. There's also many times where I just felt crushed inside, and I didn't know what to do... but I'd go upstairs and just hold my son, and cry a bit, and it's hard to stay upset when you think of this kid and the life ahead for them, that they can do things better than you did and hopefully not make the same mistakes. Not to mention the cuteness/cuddles cheer you up a bit, I'm sure there's probably some endorphins being released even.
My dog died this year, but in the past holding/petting her helped some with depression too. Sometimes I will go a day or two without even going outside, and I find my mood also brightens if I just take out the trash or walk around the block.
Being responsible for someone or something is difficult, it's supposed to be.
I hope a lot of people are making a correlation between their friends who have recently had young children, and why they often tend to look tired, miserable and depressed.
- Exercise regularly. Aerobic exercise(whatever that means for you) that you can maintain without develop injury or over-training will be your baseline. Endorphin is what you are after, since it provides a boost of immune system, better sleep, less anxiety and increased overall health.
- Be outside in the sun everyday, take a walk or sit and read a book.
- Cut out any consumption of large amount of drugs: alcohol, sugar, nicotine...
- Talk to someone about your worries and sprinkle some Zen in your life.
- Help someone else for no personal gain, but don't let it consume all your time.
- Understand that all things are transient, nothing is static, and trying to be eternally happy is impossible and the quest for such a thing will make you unhappy.
Depression is not just a sad spell. Depression is a medical condition. Seek medical help.
(But yes, all of the things above are good things to do in any case, for anybody.)
Developing good routine is not an easy thing for people that are deep inside a negative spiral, but it will help limit the episodes. Good routine is like a spell, it reestablishes your commitment to each day and provides you with energy. This is the same whether you have depression or a bout of sadness.
For one thing, "which doctor?"
Primary care physicians prescribe SSRIs all the time. You probably want to see a primary care physician anyway and get a thorough checkup and blood work to rule out physical causes. Your family doc or internist should also be able to refer you to a psychiatrist (who will usually offer more complex drug therapy) or to a talk therapist or both.
A doctor won't analyze your life like a therapist would and ensure you have a good diet, sleeping schedule, friends, career, family, etc. For 99% of people these are the causes of depression and can be remidied without medication.
And don't chalk this up to a USA problem. I'm from Canada and my doctor is a pill pusher.
There's a difference between the common usage of the word "depression" and the mental illness of clinical depression/major depression/major depressive disorder.
There is a lot that can be done to fight what many people would refer to as depression, which is much more mild than clinical depression.
Especially in more severe cases, attempting to deal with it yourself is dangerous. Think about it: depression often creates a lack of motivation and a feeling of not being in control. If you try something and it fails, then what? Then you blame yourself for failing, you feel even less motivated and even less in control, and you're possibly worse off then when you started. (Not to mention: you learn the wrong lesson about failure.)
IMHO, the very premise that you can "hack" around depression is flawed. If you tore your rotator cuff, came down with a serious fever, or broke a bone, would you try to "hack" around it? I doubt it, unless you're out in the wilderness and days from care - and at that, you'd likely seek proper care when you get back to civilization. Mental health is no different; we just have a societal problem treating it with the same seriousness and urgency. Many people struggling with mental health issues need an external reference point along with expert advice / supervision. A good support network of friends / family provides the former. Ideally, doctors provide both; they at least provide the latter, if they're at all half-decent.
Now, it's not at all the same thing, but: I struggled with anxiety - like, full-on debilitating panic attacks - for years, trying to "hack" around it. It would get better, then I'd relapse. In the end, I finally swallowed my pride, went to a doctor, and followed their advice. If I'd done that years ago, I'd have measurably improved my quality of life for years. Now, I'm just happy I didn't wait longer. Yes, I had some measure of success in "hacking" around my mental health issues, and yes, I was probably better off than if I did nothing. That said, why would you not just use the best tools available?
It's like choosing to write your own text editor from scratch just to code - you can do it, and you'll maybe even learn something, and there's a remote chance that you'll create a better tool than was previously available. Most likely, however, you'll spend years going in circles for no particularly good reason. That's why you seek help: not because you absolutely can't do anything about it yourself, but because, quite honestly, life is too short to waste.
Now, once you regain a measure of control - possibly with the help of therapy, SSRIs, etc. - you're in a position to start talking about "how do I help myself manage this?" Here, however, you're not "hacking" around anything: you're applying well-tested methods (exercise regimens, proper sleep, relaxation / meditation techniques, etc.), possibly in conjunction with SSRIs or therapy, to slowly but surely rebuild your sense of control and agency.
Perhaps in 10 or 20 years, we'll better understand neurobiology and have much better tools to help with mental health issues. Right now, this is what we have.
</rant>
You need the strength and courage to seek therapy and then stick to it. Sometimes therapy takes years and the result is not guaranteed. And when you're in the worst possible place mentally, trying to go to therapist and then trying to open up to him is incredibly tough. And then you have to keep doing it again and again and again.
In particular, one element of the hacker mindset is not wasting any time saying, "But it doesn't make sense!" It was very useful to me to accept that my body and brain was a meat-robot built by genes so they could get around in a hostile environment. My moods were just part of a poorly-balanced control system.
I didn't have to have a narrative reason for feeling sad. It could just be, say, part of a system for keeping me indoors when the weather was bad. If refined sugar threw off my mood regulation, well no surprise. It wasn't part of my evolved diet. The only reason I was eating a lot of it was foods engineered to maximize purchase frequency while minimizing cost. If other people were hacking me, I certainly could hack back.
Once I gave up the expectation of narrative sense, it became just another experiment-driven systems-tuning exercise. And hackers are good at that.
I cut out refined sugar from my diet and started taking turmeric in the form of golden paste (as a natural cure for tendinitis) a couple f months back. I noticed an improvement in my mood and outlook as a pleasant side effect.
One guy who got that advice from his brother went on to be the Forrest Gump of eggs in Indonesia and became a billionaire.
Raising animals has all that and you also have the emotional relationship of the animals to boot.
It seems to be important that it is both hard physical labor and outdoors in the sun.
I don't know about some of the other advice. Eating habits don't seem to work for me, and following a strict diet makes things worse because I spend a lot of time worrying about food if I do that. Exercise? I've never found any exercise I enjoy when I'm content, let alone trying to get the energy up to actually follow through with it. The only way I can work that in is if I walk as my primary transportation.
Having a structured day helps me a little bit, but this is simply because it doesn't give my brain time to ruminate as much. Meditation seems unbearable if I'm depressed. The sessions themselves aren't so bad, but I obsess with it off and on through the day. Mindfulness just makes me feel anxious because I'm constantly worried that I'm not normal and I can't tell if that is true or not.
Now, the things that have helped keep depression away have been different. I couldn't do this stuff in the depths of depression, but making the changes changed my life outlook. I do get mild depression now, but it doesn't last as long nor feel as bad. I made life changes. I got in a stable, loving relationship after ending a bad one. I moved, which gave me a little more control over myself and how I acted because expectations changed. I did MDMA. Not that this is something for everyone nor actually legal, but it let me parse out some of the things in my head. The weeks after taking were an eye-opener.
I imagine doing this with an actual therapist would be even more helpful. I completely understand why it seems like a miracle for mental health in drug trials.
I've done other sorts of drugs in my life - lsd, for example. While they shaped some of my perception and thoughts about the world and life, nothing was quite like this. I couldn't describe myself as unhappy before, but now I'm really content with life.
I should now mention that I would urge folks to have caution. I can understand how folks would get addicted to it. And there is a risk of simply doing it too often and actually having the opposite effect. This is something to do occasionally, not every weekend or even once a month. The most profound change was the first time: I've done it since then, and it while (for me) it reinforces the things I learned the first time and still feel mentally refreshed the next day, it simply isn't as large of a change.
Another small sidenote: I've done it with my spouse. It also strengthened our relationship as well simply because we basically sat and talked positively for hours.
Then they came home, saw me watching and said, "oh you've got to turn off the VCR." They did that and the picture became impossibly crystal clear. I was floored by what I had been missing and how I had convinced myself that things before were "fine."
Had pretty much the same experience the first few weeks after taking MDMA. Felt like someone had improved the reception on the world and turned off the static and noise.
Now taking less of each, cycling my dosage up and down as required. Sometimes taking neither for up to about a week.
You could bathe in diamonds every day, have the best lover, the most supporting circle of friends, be at the peak of your health and still be depressed. Depression is out of your control.
You can reduce triggers by living better but that's it. Even while living the happiest moments of your life you can still have depression lurk in the back of your head, probing you with negative thoughts.
That being said, it's something I think everyone should work on. Just not as a primary response mechanism to life-destroying issues happening right now.
It literally washes away anxiety, leaving you feel renewed, and refreshed, like the cobwebs of the mind have been cleared, like the fog has been lifted.
Of course I recommend being active (walking, working out, hiking), socializing, spending time in nature and the outdoors, eating healthy, eliminating addictions, detaching from social media and the Internet, and quiet mediation and reflection to nurture spirituality. Even psychotherapy is helpful at weeding out unhelpful personal narratives and properly contextualizing feelings and past memories.
But, psychedelics (LSD and mushrooms specifically) are an incredible catalyst for clearing life crushing mental illness like anxiety, depression, compulsive thoughts, and PTSD.
Find someone who understands its therapeutic value, who you can trust, who can guide you through the experience.
A single experience can be absolutely life changing.
If anyone decides to do it I would recommend finding a center with good reviews in Peru, and booking before you go. Don't just buy a ticket to Iquitos and hope to find a retreat or a shaman. Do some proper research and be prepared.
The amazon rainforest is a magical place, and just being there is a healing experience by itself.
Attending professional talk therapy and taking prescribed dosage of psychiatric medication.
In therapy they will probably mention the following as well:
Sleep schedule (same bedtime and wake up time each day, long enough, restful, no screens in bed)
Exercise (helps with sleep and stress management, almost any routine aerobic or strength done to exhaustion will work if done multiple times a week)
Socializing (hanging out with a group of close friends at least once a week socially is the goal)
Diet (veggies, whole fruits, possibly vitamin B supplements)
Moderation or abstinence from legal recreational drugs. Abstinence from illegal recreational drugs.
Meditation and other forms of metacognition aka thinking about what you are thinking, often right in the moment when you are thinking the original thought to help manage your emotion response to internal or external stress.
Moderation or abstinence from social media, news, and most ad driven media
It seems like the advice is "just be healthy and do healthy habits". None of them are hacks - they're just what everyone tells you to do. If they worked and this was the advice that was needed, we wouldn't have an epidemic.
Amen to that: garbage in, garbage out
Threads like these are typically filled with unverified claims, anecdotes, well-meaning tips and what others think helped them or someone they know in what they believe are similar circumstances.
Some people aren't diagnosed, but make their own assumptions. Others don't differentiate between a mood (sadness) and pathology (clinical depression).
TLDR: There are too many variables, unknowns and right-sounding wrongs out there. A professional third party is better suited to interpret your situation than anyone else - including yourself.
And anyway, your absolute faith in professionals is unwarranted.
Psychiatry and psychology remain largely unsupported by good science. There is no verified and widely-accepted predictive model of overall brain function.
Many therapists operate entirely on personal bias and superstition; at least one major university touts their M.Div. program as a preferred gateway to clinical psychology.
The evidence in support of pharmacological treatment is polluted by the fact that almost all large-scale clinical studies of psychoactive drugs are underwritten by those who intend to profit from them. Double-blinding is not an absolute guarantee against manipulation if you fund multiple studies and simply drop the results you don't like.
Truly endogenous depression, meaning that which has no legitimate external factors underlying it, may be a mythical beast. All the drugs and therapy in the world will not resolve a bad situation, particularly when that bad situation happens to be a social norm like working at a meaningless job.
SSRIs may get you functional again, but is that really a positive outcome when all they are doing is revving you up to feel good about wasting your life as a corporate cog? Stimulating you to participate gamely in the destruction of the planet through mindless consumption? Convincing you to squeeze out more little consumers to propagate the system?
Evolution has not prepared animals to live in zoos; they often develop symptoms analogous to human depression. Neither has it prepared us to sit around all day in offices doing shit jobs for the primary enrichment of those at the top.
Here's my hack: if you find yourself depressed, have a look at your situation. It probably sucks. Get up, walk out, don't come back. But realize that you cannot easily escape our shitty system that constrains you to participate in economic slavery in order to afford basic shelter and minimal health care. Good luck.
I don’t have absolute faith in professionals; Don’t know what gave you that idea. I’m saying they’re better than the alternatives, and that expertise is worth something.
I agree with some of your criticisms of the status quo, but it seems to me like you’re conflating your own views of society with an objective view that serves as a legitimate basis for a depressive reaction/sadness.
As for your claims regarding endogenous depression: I don’t know what you base them on. I’ve seen nothing to support this position, at least.
There might be psychologically unhealthy sides to modern society, but what you and others present as alternatives is, in my opinion, glorified guesswork - as opposed to a somewhat systematic search for knowledge (flawed as it is).
[1]https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-depression#1
And another
"we sometimes lose sight of the fact that the mind, brain, and body all influence one another. In addition to feeling good when you exercise, you feel good about yourself"
Reading this book opened a door out of depression for me using the prescribed medicine, which is exercise and definitely wasn't easy.
Other than that, eating well, having plenty of great sex, and interacting with as many people as possible. OH most important, SLEEP, a full solid night of it. Naps are awesome too.
I used to run a couple miles in the morning and evenings, on streets, until I injured my leg. So I switched to hiking after my leg recovered. Short 2-3 mile hikes turned into 12 mile stretches, which turned into short trail runs, and now I'm running 5-6 miles of trails 2x a week and 12+ mile runs/hikes on weekends (I'm secretly training for an ultra). I'd always thought I'd hate running, because it was too strenuous or something, but I haven't looked back. Maybe I'm just literally running away from my problems, but, it's far more rewarding in any case.
It's 6am in Seattle right now. I woke up and I'm about to go to the gym and do my 5x5 workout. I do this 3 times a week and it changed my life ever since I started doing it two years ago.
Most people will need to adjust the dose and probably try a few different meds. So your doc should prescribe you some pills and have you call back in two weeks to see how you are doing and decide if you want to change the dose or switch meds. While you are there you should also have your thyroid hormone levels checked and any other physical problems which could be associated with depression.
In terms of mainstream meds that are available as a generic and easy to get, the one that stands out as different is Venlafaxine, which binds to norephinephrine transporters as it does to serotonin transporters. It works better in more people, but it also makes some people get a blood pressure reading like 200/110. Thus you should be working with a doc, checking your vitals, etc. There are also non-SSRI antidepressants, some of them are very effective, but they tend to have more side effects, some of which can be dangerous. (For instance, tricyclic antidepressants can cause QT prolongation, a change your heartbeat that can lead to death.)
All that said, the great thing about antidepressants is that they are inexpensive and easy to try in conjunction with "everything else", of which I would rank exercise as #1 and then talk therapy at a distant #2.
But it didn't keep depression from getting to me. These days I'm in alright shape still, but getting back on that wagon is hard as hell when you feel like trash. I've done it before, I'll do it again, but I think for some of us it unfortunately takes more than exercise.
I still also highly recommend exercise as part of any effort against depression. If you're able bodied, chances are it will only be able to help.
- Run. Blood circulation and fresh air can do wonders. These days I bike to work than run. But the idea is the same. Start your day with cardio and fresh oxygen.
- Watch your diet. Sleep a bit hungry. Eat foods that exit your system within 24 hours.
- Abstain from sex (including DIV) for 10 days, and see how you feel on the 11th. After which find your formula, similar to intermittent fasting but with sex.
- Meditation and Yoga. I practice Hatha Yoga as taught here (http://www.ishayoga.org/). This is ridiculously powerful if practiced with intensity.
But, how do you find a doctor? What kind of doctor is appropriate? How do I even know what sort of doctor I could afford?
When I was a kid (7 years old), my mom got depressed being a teacher in public schools of Brazil. I took decades to understand what happened, and till now I don't understand by complete.
She was very religious and believed that she could heal by herself, using her faith. The result was that she got dived into a so strong depression (deep depression doctors called) that they friends just realized her problem when it aggravated, and she was observed having strange ideas and doing strange behaviors, like burning things. She was slowing entering into madness (I cry each time I remember this).
Depression was cured by doctors help, but the sequels of trying to "hack" or heal by herself...
Today she is not on depression anymore (she is not sad I mean), but has many sequels, all very difficult to treat and medicate, almost none improvements on this by decades. Strong headaches, labyrinthitis and other side effects all since this trauma. It's past 20 years already and it's not cured. Today, we don't have money to look for a good and paid doctor, and we are still trying the public hospitals of Brazil. I have a startup today, and I strive to monetize it, to be able to pay for high-quality treatments and travel with her to find good doctors and therapists despite her unprivileged location (small city), the kind of people that is really interested in deeply investigate the causes to heal her. I did not have concluded yet, if it's is so difficult and rare to threat it, or if we had just bad luck till now.
As many people with depression, she though on suicide many times during the old hard days, and her religiosity and beliefs stopped her and gave strength from doing that. The curious here is that at the same time her faith was one of the causes of aggravating of her problem, also saved her from doing an extreme action (suicide).
As for the stigma of therapy (which I think is thankfully starting to erode), don't worry about it. All a therapist is is someone you hire that is trained to help you see your life more clearly and really wants to help you. You can use reviews on Yelp or other review sites to find a good one.
Heck, if they can afford it or have insurance cover it, I think people that are already functioning okay can be even happier seeing a good therapist. It feels like adding another core to your CPU, adding more capacity for processing your life :)
If you're depressed because of a chemical imbalance, medicine can help (though it can be fiddly to get right). A doctor is what you need here, or (perhaps better) a psychiatrist.
If you're depressed because of circumstances, then you need to either change your circumstances, or change the way you think about them. (I have heard that anger signals that you have a blocked goal, and depression signals that you have an impossible goal. This is almost certainly not true of all depressions for all people. But if it's true of yours, you need to figure out what the impossible goal is, and let go of it.) A counselor might be where to start here.
If it's just that you aren't happy, as others have said, sleep, exercise, and relationships.
If you're hungry for something, and you can't find what it is, then I am reminded of this quote from C.S. Lewis: "The Christian says, 'Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or to be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that country and to help others to do the same."
2. Vitamin D - if you dislike being outside, or have anxiety and can't go outside, then take Vitamin D supplements. If you live somewhere where the Weather is never great, take the supplements anyway.
3. Mindful Thinking - A lot of people say 'Meditation' but for many people starting out, that's a big ask. So start with something easier. Being Mindful is focusing on where you are for 5-10 minutes. Close your eyes and listen to all your senses. The sounds around you, the smells, the warmth of the sun etc. After a few goes you'll be able to feel the benefits of this simple exercise.
4. Invest in friendships. Making new friends is hard when you feel like you have nothing to offer, so work on the friendships you already have. Spend more time with your friends. Explain to them (be frank!) about how you are feeling, and ask them to help a bit. Say if you are feeling low you might reach out to them for a chat. They know what you are struggling with, but are unsure how to actively help - by giving them pointers, they'll be all too pleased to support you.
5. Look at the things in your life that make you sad or angry, and remove them if possible. These toxic things can be anything; a Job, a Person you know, Where you live, What you Eat - anything. If it's your Job, change Jobs - _no_ job is important enough to wreck your health over. Don't be afraid to reboot everything and anything until you start feeling better.
6. Therapy. You can't do this alone. Not having a professional on tap is one of the most common mistakes most people do. A good therapist will guide you through the above steps and also teach you how to deal with how you are feeling, and how it affects your everyday life.
7. Drugs. Don't accept or live with the first SSRIs/SNRIs you try if they don't seem to work. It can take several goes with different types before you find one that works. There's no such thing as 'the drugs don't work'.
I could go on, but I'm also on this Journey so I don't have all the answers yet.
Source: Me. Depression for most of my life (I'm mid-40s), also suffering from Generalised Anxiety Disorder. All stemming from an abusive childhood and exacerbated by a nasty divorce which left deep emotional scars.
Learn to observe thoughts instead of getting lost in them.
Recognize your brain is having a mood, not that you are that mood.
A lot of stuff from meditation/mindfulness can be quite helpful. There's a book called _The Zen Path through Depression_ that's kind of interesting.
I don't view it as a "fight" rather just a "thing". Depression is normal. Not fun, but normal.
Serious depression may require professional assistance. If whatever it is you're doing isn't working, get that assistance. Reach out to people. In general they care.
Lots of new research kicking around. That's a science-backed approach.
Increasing exercise has been a big help. I have a routine I go through every morning for the last month or so. I find I have a focus I don't have otherwise and it's important to start my day off with that focus.
I've made a point to leave work no more than one hour later than normal (unless the situation truly warrants it) and I do not look at email outside of work hours (my employer certainly knows how to reach me if needed). Its been very tempting at times, but the feelings of guilt around not looking at email throughout the evening have largely gone away. Home is no longer that extension of work and has become a place I can chill and relax. After about a month of this I really do feel genuinely relaxed at some point in the evening and I start the day more refreshed and ready to tackle what comes my way.
Lastly, talking with a therapist. My first visits weren't great because I really wasn't present or willing to really open up. Differences between what I think and what I feel and other issues along those lines. Several months later I tried again and was willing to discuss how I feel and hold nothing back (wasn't afraid of looking weak, etc.). I'm learning coping mechanisms that have lead to more awareness and that awareness in turn has increased my ability to cope with whatever comes my way. For example, I recognize patterns I'd fall into far sooner.
These steps have provided a forward momentum that I'm working to maintain. Step by step.
Another big one is taking the time to figure out what triggers your depression. If it's seasonal, try some lights. If it's stress-related, try one of the well-established ways of combating that: If you're very energetic some kind of combat sport works well, otherwise something more calm like meditation. Try anything that sounds like it might work, and try not to worry too much if it doesn't. There's plenty of other options.
If you're a worrier, having a reasonably rigid schedule could work well. Go to sleep at the same time, eat at the same time, have lunch at the same time.
Edit: Another thing that works well is setting (very) small goals for yourself and accepting that that can be the only thing you do that day (eg "I'm going to take the laundry out of the hamper and put it in the washer"). If it's really bad, I've found that is literally the only thing that will help.
Another thing that really helps is paying attention to others and giving. When you do that you increase dopamine levels and take your attention off of yourself as you enter the world of another person. This doesn't have to be anything like volunteering once a week, but just small acts of kindness that all compound into your life. Start with your family and friends and then you will gain awareness for everyone else. It's a bit weird when I tell people I use "giving to others" to deal with depression, but if you combine that with priming your mind, you can get it through it. You can.
Surely, a lot of people are afraid of medication and the stigma of mental illness that comes with it. Prozac made wonders for me, I am where I am thanks to this well researched and safe "selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor".
With hindsight, I realize no exercise or lifestyle change could get me out of the dark place that sucked me in. Depression is like a broken leg - you better go see a doctor.
After the first couple of weeks of treatment, my level of serotonin stabilized (so I think) and the darkest thoughts and panic attacks receded. It did not magically solve any of my problems but it gave me back my strength to fight with them over time. There were no severe side effects, maybe a lower libido in the first months. Actually, one side effect surprised me - I started to be talkative again. I totally forgot I knew how to talk to people and enjoyed company around me. Now I am a mild extrovert again, I manage people, I quit weed and booze and I take the lowest dose (20mg) of Fluoxetine every evening.
Start from trusted resource like: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/low-...
It is possible that you will need to work with therapist who has spent decades debugging and solving problems like yours. If you can't afford therapy try to talk to real people with years of life experience outside of hacker forum.
At the end of the day you will need to understand what is the cause of your problem. Start thinking about it right away.
Practice gratitude. Get a pen and paper and start writing down things in your life that you're grateful for. It can be something as simple as being grateful for food, water, and shelter (which gets taken for granted so often).
Do this for 15 minutes a day (preferably as soon you wake up) and you will notice your outlook on life improve. Religious people do this in the form of prayer, and it has been scientifically proven to increase your happiness.
I think I entered depression a few months ago after a hard breakup and a difficult personal, professional situation. I could not do my daily activities, I just wanted to stay in the corner of a room and cry out my pain. It was physically painful, too. I am still recovering and it takes a lot of time to.
One thing that helped me is to read self-development books. I read two, it has literally saved me from sinking. If you like philosophy, I highly recommend it.
Florence Scovel Shinn, The Game of Life and How To Play It:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUcnJrqKcSI
Just takes ~3 hours of your life and gives some good reason to get your faith in yourself back.
Louise L. Hay, You Can Heal Your Life:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E81XAYvmWfI
1 hour of your life. I like some parts of this book a lot. Some are weird to me, but once you sort things out, I concluded that it helped me a lot.
Oh and one last thing, from experience, IT GETS BETTER. It might sound silly or something you've heard 1000 times, but it does. I've been there.
Hope this helps. And feel free to reach out if you want to rant.
Cheers
Supplement magnesium (so key to health and so neglected). Try it, you won't regret it, unless you have some psychological barrier to supplementation.
Supplement gelatin before sleep (which contains a lot of glycine, there are studies showing it regulates serotonin and dopamine. In my family's experience it is amazing for helping you sleep. Also it is the reason why in my country broth's are seen as relaxing before sleep: they contain lots of glycine)
Look into lifting weights, I took it up after being depressed for months after my last breakup and it has been life changing. It has so many benefits from increased metabolism, growth hormone, testosterone.
Spend time in the sun frequently
Do something that makes you afraid/thrill. For example, I took motorcycle riding this year, hard to be depressed when your heart rate goes up. It might seem temporary but it sets the beginning for change.
- Go to sleep and wake up at regular times.
- Make sure you eat sufficiently (dont skip breakfast).
- Make sure you have people to talk to on a regular basis. Isolation makes things worse.
If you are so deep in depression you can hardly function, you probably need to see a specialist ASAP and get professional counsel first before trying to hack anything.
If, for some reason, you can't do that (money or time) talk to someone in the meat world. Find a good friend and lay it out there. Don't hint at it - say it. This is not a thing to be coy about.
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For me, joining a church has helped. Not because I found God or spiritual enlightenment, but because it's a community that doesn't care what I do for a living. They care about my wellbeing and how I am doing. They're always glad to see me no matter what shape I look like I'm in.
It's good to have at least one group of people that are glad to see you, no matter what six kinds of ass you look or feel like at the moment.
It's not easy to find a group of people like that. You might have to hunt around a bit.
If you're in Austin, I'll happily introduce you to them. Might be the right group, might not. That's up to you.
- Getting at least 6-7 hours of sleep every night consistently
- Reading a book for at least 10 minutes a day
- Going for a 20-30 minute walk outside alone (day, night, doesn't matter, as long as you feel safe)
- Weightlifting a couple of times a week
- Eating right
- Trying to not box myself into restrictive thinking about all of the above (like, if I want to eat a donut, I can eat a donut, I just should be conscious of portion control)
- Going to therapy every week. This can be an expensive option, but hopefully you can find someone in network for your health insurance or find people who do group therapy. Regardless, I find it very healthy to be able to talk about my week with someone who isn't a close friend. They typically give me clarity on what it is that I'm sometimes feeling.
While I agree with a lot of the other commenters, it seems like they would be more appropriate in a "Healthy lifeStyle choices for programmers" thread. .02
Depression sucks. In order to take your mind off of it, find a goal and pursue it. Helping others is one of the most universal methods. No matter how bad are you, there are people in worse condition than you. These people will see an angel in you if you show some care. "Be the person you needed when you needed someone"
I use the app and also do a gratitude practice with my children at the end of the day. Interestingly, no matter how bad my day went, if I end it doing gratitude with my children my recollection of the day is positive. I can be having a day where everything seems to be going wrong and I see no point in even trying to win at life. If I end the day with gratitude and look back on it the next day I feel like “oh, I remember I had some setbacks but it was a good day.” Only happens if I do the practice, otherwise I ruminate for days.
I turned out in a pretty cool place by simply wrapping my head around things about computers all day. Having access to read and understand all levels of what the machine does is fascinating and had me hooked with free operating systems and free / open source software long ago.
IRC probably helped a lot with loneliness, both me being able to ask my own questions and responding to and researching other people's questions. I can't tell where I would be without Freenode. It's such an uplifting experience reaping and resowing one's own understanding in the various communities.
In my experience, being depressed takes less effort than not being depressed.
I live in a small city and I would spend most of my days working then going home to play games and watch Netflix while slowly becoming a hoarder living in garbage.
Then I started walking everywhere, to coffee shops, to music venues, etc. Every place that I walked to was an excuse to get out of the house and be active. Whenever I had those walks, I had time for a lot of self reflection and exposure to meaningful experiences and people that I would have never had if I stayed inside bingeing on Netflix. I still get bummed out at times, but I don't daydream about suicide anymore.
Anecdotally: plenty of sunlight, a vitamin D pill, enjoyable sex with your partner, frequent bouts of intense exercise, plenty of vegetables, few processed foods, a probiotic supplement, and healthy bowel movements 1-2 times a day.
I'm not implying at all that this is the cause of all depression, merely that it was in my case.
What has helped me, in rough order of importance:
A very regular sleep schedule. I used to be all over the place, but hacking on this has really paid off.
Lots of sunlight. I got rid of my bedroom blinds, try to make it outdoors daily, and have an elaborate automated lighting system that gives me a more summer-ish lighting cycle the year round. [1] I used to use a blue light panel, and would probably still use it if I were living in a darker climate.
Regular cardio. Running, cycling, hiking, long walks. At a minimum I'll do a 30-20-10 cycle [2], which takes only a few minutes. But I find mood benefit in much longer things, possibly because of the sunlight.
Minimal refined carbs. At this point I'll have something with sugar or flour maybe once a week, and my moods are much more stable.
Meditation. I know the traditional practice is daily long blocks of time, but I find more use in more frequent short ones. One way to think about meditation is in terms of learning awareness and control over the flow of one's thoughts. Basically, I think of serenity (and specifically non-reactivity) as a skill, and it's a skill worth practicing often. That can be as little for me as one conscious breath, or a 5-minute meditation break.
Therapy. Find a professional you like. It make take going through a few. Mine is great. Her experience with many different people helps her spot patterns and suggest changes in ways I can't do on my own. She's also good at spotting my bullshit and getting me to debug it.
A quiet environment. I have a top-floor apartment on a quiet street, one that only shares one wall with neighbors. It's very restful. At work, I also find ways to minimize environmental stress.
Yoga. The way my body remembers to be stressed is in muscle tension. Learning to stretch and relax both those muscles and my mind helps, and also helps me diagnose other issues, as it helps me notice what is making me tense (and therefore reducing my resiliency.
Minimal drug use. My average day includes no alcohol or caffeine. When I have them now, I'll notice a mild increase in mood instability for a day or two, so I almost never have them two days in a row.
https://www.amazon.com/How-Good-bye-Depression-Constrict-Eve...
7 Ways to Maximize Misery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o
It contains a lot of advice on how to choose a therapist and how to behave with them and what you can otherwise do if you won't go to a therapist.
If you go to a doctor expecting compassion instead of drugs you will be sorely mistaken.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBh-iYJ1Q_hTyzGEesN8b...
- Getting lost in games/books with imaginative worlds.
- Traveling.
- Hooking up with random people without any strings/hopes/expectations.
- Making stuff.
- Helping someone feel better without it being at your expense.
- and of course, music.
1. I once heard Sam Harris talking about this process. Most people sort of are their thoughts. That is -- this is tough to describe plainly -- their thoughts and feelings are primary, driving their actions as if mechanically linked. But you can in a certain sense become aware of your thoughts and view them as an outsider, as something that's happening independent of you, that you can see and choose how you react to. It's not just about self-assessment (although it is about that). It works during acute "attacks" too.
It's crazy, but hearing him say that made a huge impact on an anxiety problem that had been getting worse for me. Thinking of it this way has without exaggeration changed my life.
2. A second sort of ridiculous trick that works for me, for some reason:
There may be a billion universes in which I die this week, but it can’t be this one, because I am subjectively alive and experiencing this one. I can only experience the timeline in which I live. There may be other timelines, but I wouldn’t know about them, because I’m alive in this one. I can only experience living.
I don’t experience the timelines where I do/did die, by definition. I can only enjoy the one in which I don’t/didn’t.
I'd also like to say that I'm not trying to give advice. Depression is a very personal experience and I think sharing our stories will do far more than trying to distill them into universal advice.
A lot of people in this thread, and all threads like this, are recommending exercise. I think there are actual studies that show exercise being a good way to fight depression, so this is good advice, but for me personally it was not the right answer.
I tried exercise as a fix and it did very little to help me. It created another obligation in my life. Something else on the endless list of things that needed to be done between 6PM and 11PM on the weekdays or on the weekends. It felt like my entire life was being consumed by having to do things and the pressure to be doing more things. Learning things, writing code, making music, making video games, woodworking, photography, learning to cook, etc. The key point here is that I felt no intrinsic motivation to do those things - I just felt unending pressure to do something productive all the time so that I could get that next job, make millions of dollars, become internet famous, or at least finally like the person I was.
In the end what helped me more than anything was learning to let myself off the hook. Yes, there are people out there who work 10 hours a day and contribute to fifteen different open source projects in their free time. There are people my age touring the world as masters of their chosen instrument.
It's okay that I'm not one of them. I have redeeming qualities that those people don't have. My perspective and experience are just as valuable as theirs. My life is just as valuable as theirs.
There are a good many things that I should improve in my life. I'm overweight and don't exercise much. I should walk my dogs more often. I drink too much soda. I stay up too late. If there is a pizza present, I will eat too much of it. I don't have any productive hobbies at the moment. I should save more money and play less video games. I should call my Mom more often.
Thinking about all of those things, and especially trying to fix them all at once or too fast, will bring me back into depression and anxiety. Instead, I need to balance my thoughts and give myself credit for slow, incremental progress.
I don't beat my wife or my dogs. I'm not addicted to meth, tobacco, cocaine, heroin, or alcohol. I pay my taxes. I put money into my retirement account every month. I don't steal. I do good things for other people. I donate to my local NPR station.
There are so many good things about me that get lost when I only think about the bad things. I will never become a famous musician, prodigious coder, or Nobel prize winning scientist. Accepting that and trying to love the person I am now has been the best fix for me.
I hope that this story is helpful to anyone who takes the time to read it, and if anyone else is willing, I'd love to hear your stories about depression.
- Sport (for me it's mostly HIIT Training and bike commuting at the moment), check out https://darebee.com for free workout plans and nutrition advise
- 1 tab LSD per season
- some Kratom once in a while
- Vitamin D3 + K2
- definately no alcohol
- getting educated in basic psychology
- a regulated daily routine (early to bed, fixed times for eating if possible)
- drinking enough water
- not hoarding too much stuff (minimalism)
- making my bed in the morning (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgzLzbd-zT4)
- socialising (cooking with friends, doing sport together)
- GTD for organization of work and personal life (it's pretty much all about writing down stuff to have a clear mind)
1. disable social media, even netflix 2. running, swimming, and weight lifting (make new friends ) 3. lower my expectations in life, 4. socialise more with family and friends 5. explore new stuff (fishing, gardening, cooking) 6. meditation (or prayers since i am a muslim) 7. smile more, and care less about technology
I started sharing my penthouse with economically challenged students.
We all go on hiking, fishing etc.. together. This is helped me come out of depression and now i am starting my new company with the same guys.
