Politics is not "squabbling". America is a democracy - decentralized discussion of ideas is how democracy works. Social cohesion through silence is what creates hyperpartisan cultures like our own.
The problem is most Americans use mass media as their role model for communication... and modern media thrives on angry controversy.
Don't evangelize or try to convince, just deeply understand the other person. What values does a person hold (their "axioms"), and how are those prioritized? What opinions make up their practical world view, how do they resolve conflicts... unwrap the onion one layer at a time. And let them do the same to you.
The act of explaining often tunes people in to inconsistencies in their belief, and erodes the emotional foundation. From there, techniques like the Socratic method are useful for debate
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