Yeah, no, please stop this FUD.
You need to comply with the laws of the jurisdiction you operate in. If you don't operate in the EU (and having a presence on a global communication network does not qualify), EU laws are not applicable.
The onus is on concerned EU citizens to stick to .eu domains with a feel-good GDPR-VERIFIED banner if they are so inclined, not on the rest of the world to bend over.
As a non-EU business, I will pay my GDPR "fines" right after I'm done paying my Iran and North Korea issued fines. Cheers!