I really wish that people would stop referencing that "Fractal of Bad Design" article. It's outdated and mostly irrelevant now (April 2012, PHP was at 5.4 then, it's at 7.2 now). It's not that I want to defend PHP, I just think people should judge PHP for what it is now instead of what it was several major changes ago.
Besides, the author seems to misunderstand a great many things about PHP and languages in general. Here's a short rebuttal (also from April 2012): https://blog.ircmaxell.com/2012/04/php-sucks-but-i-like-it.h... that explains some of the misunderstandings.