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0 pointsenraged_camel8y ago0 comments

>>In any case, my kids are my number one. The day my first was born was the day my motivations and my reason for being shifted.

Your kids should be your number one priority, absolutely.

Make no mistake though: when you have kids you are trading off professional development outside of work for raising a family.

Nothing wrong with that, but the trade off definitely is there. People who ambitiously work on personal projects in their spare time will, on average, advance faster than those who are 9-5'ers.

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jwdunne8y ago

Yep and I'd have it no other way. Before kids, I used to be like that.

If I "ambitiously worked on side projects", I'd at best miss times I'll never get back and at worse be downright neglectful.

That's a "trade off" I haven't thought twice about making. There is no mistake. As I said, my kids are number one.

In fact, I'd argue it isn't much of a trade off at all. Time with my kids is infinitely more valuable than time spent on my career.

Someday :)

mcny8y ago

I wish it was more socially acceptable to not have children. In many parts of the world, there is still so much stigma if you marry and don't have a child within a couple of years. I am hopeful things will change and we can swing down the total fertility rate to below one.

ido8y ago

I'm 34 and living in Berlin - I know a low of people within ±10 years of my age here and MANY have no kids and aren't planning on having any. The norms are changing in a lot of major urban areas.

jwdunne8y ago

I certainly felt no pressure to have children. In fact, up until the moment I decided to have children, I always said I didn't want them.

What changed was my partner's boy, and now my boy for all intents and purposes. It made me rethink my stance and I decided to expand my family.

kybernetikos8y ago

> when you have kids you are trading off professional development outside of work for raising a family.

I believe that having children gave me more motivation and reason to be better at the things I do. It also forced me to structure my life a lot more which can have beneficial effects on productivity too.

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jwdunne8y ago

Yep and I'd have it no other way. Before kids, I used to be like that.

If I "ambitiously worked on side projects", I'd at best miss times I'll never get back and at worse be downright neglectful.

That's a "trade off" I haven't thought twice about making. There is no mistake. As I said, my kids are number one.

In fact, I'd argue it isn't much of a trade off at all. Time with my kids is infinitely more valuable than time spent on my career.

Someday :)

mcny8y ago

ido8y ago

I'm 34 and living in Berlin - I know a low of people within ±10 years of my age here and MANY have no kids and aren't planning on having any. The norms are changing in a lot of major urban areas.

jwdunne8y ago

I certainly felt no pressure to have children. In fact, up until the moment I decided to have children, I always said I didn't want them.

What changed was my partner's boy, and now my boy for all intents and purposes. It made me rethink my stance and I decided to expand my family.

kybernetikos8y ago

> when you have kids you are trading off professional development outside of work for raising a family.

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse