Evidently it doesn't really though, because we're in a stage where these are magic, and people are investing based on a little bit of hype which becomes self-sustaining.

There are lots of altcoins out there, most with not much value, but slowly trickling along. And there have been lots of ICOs of dubious value.

I obviously don't know what it takes to persuade you, personally, to invest. But it seems not to take much for the crypto-currency world at large to dive in right now.