With examples, like this: http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/research/census-lgbt-d...

Wrapped with pleasantries, like this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14704542

The only reason I now have any notion of an appropriate phrasing is because I was curious enough to seek examples. (Unlike the aggrieved data scientist?)

If nothing else, this mini-thread illustrates the challenges with communication, even when all parties have the best of intentions.