People get other offers and counteroffers and stay at their jobs all the time. In most of corporate America, this is one of the primary ways to get ahead. Maybe not at the most enlightened employee focused development shops, but most programmers don’t work there.

There are a number of good reasons to give your current employer the opportunity to give a counteroffer: 1. It’s the polite thing to do. Even if you say no, your former boss will appreciate being given the opportunity. 2. You may be able to use it as a bargaining advantage in setting your compensation at the new job. More bidders = higher pay for you. 3. Your current employer may decide to make you a really good offer. I’ve seen it happen. They may even create a new job description that didn’t exist to accommodate you.

Ideally we would all work at places that properly valued our skills and contributions, and updated our salaries to reflect our value every year. In the real world, there’s nothing wrong with a little negotiation and competition.