The first complaint derives largely from the SQL language being intended to read link English text. Languages like this show up regularly, seemingly based on the misconception that syntax is what's hard about programming. Most of them fail, as they should. SQL didn't, because it was tied to the exceptionally useful relational database.
The second is best illustrated by showing an alternative approach as an example: Korma for Clojure (http://sqlkorma.com/). It's easy to compose queries from simpler queries, just as we compose functions from simpler functions. Views provide some of this.
The third, if it's solvable would make using relational databases much nicer. Instead of schemas being manually-created diffs full of imperative statements like create and alter, make them declarative and have software generate the diff. If transformations on the data itself are required between versions, require it to include a pure function describing said transformation. By default, require a function to transform it back as well unless it explicitly says what data is to be discarded.