> Too many ORMs I've seen just have a Big Lock, leaving you with just one writer at a time.
Geez, I think you've seen some pretty terrible ORMs. I don't know of any mature and popular ORMs that do that. If they do, I have no idea why they are popular or what makes anyone consider them mature.
ORMs that don't do that include: ActiveRecord, Sequel, Hibernate, Core Data, SQLAlchemy, etc.