YM2: Our water is so hard, it beats up little old ladies for their grocery money.

YM3: Our water is so hard, it beats up the cops that come 'round to take the report from the little old lady.

YM4: Our water is so hard, I once got arrested for assault with a deadly weapon, by a bunch of beaten-up cops, for holdin' a hose in me own garden.

YM1: I used to carry a chisel round in my pocket, in case I got thirsty.

YM2: I once forgot my chisel, had a drink anyway, and broke all my teeth off.

YM3: We only 'ad one chisel for all of us, and we had to trade it off between the kitchen faucet, and breaking up the toilet water into pieces small enough to flush.

YM4: We had to rent our chisel, and on days when we couldn't afford it, we had to follow cops around and drink their broken-off teeth when they got beaten up.

All: Aye, but we were 'appy in those days....

I used to live in Leeds and used the water for a few gardening projects were the PH of the water was very important so was also testing it, it was always perfect, never had to modify.

Now, when I lived in Hull, terrible water

Water softeners are pretty cheap these days, although the water still tastes funny afterward.