Ask HN: What's the most unexpected social convention you've discovered?

19 pointsEleventhSun9y ago11 comments

In the context of running a startup in the Bay Area.

For example, a post I read eons ago described how, when talking to an investor, and they ask you if you're talking to other investors, you always say yes. The reason being is that you always want to appear to be able to give them competition, and moreover, if you say no you look inexperienced.

Any other catches like that you can think of?

11 comments

Sevii9y ago

When you meet someone you often say things like: "Hey how are you doing? or "How is it going?" These phrases are not intended to be literal questions but are actually used to gauge the other person's feelings towards you. From their tone and the length of their response you can determine whether they want to expand the relationship or are indifferent. These meaningless phrases are actually an important part of social interactions, despite having no apparent meaning.

stevekemp9y ago

This is culture-specific. As somebody who moved from Scotland where "How are you doing" has only one socially-acceptable answer "Good/Great/Fine" I'm now in Finland.

If you ask a Finnish person how they are, they will tell you.

I regard this as refreshing, honest, and interesting.

Jemmeh9y ago

I want to move to Finland just for this, haha.

People here (southeast USA) like to ask this question as they are walking by. There is absolutely no way to answer in an honest way, you just have to say "Good, good." or something like that. Furthermore, since you're walking by it's still awkward even to say "Good, you?" I've always found it really weird. If you just want to say hey, say hey! Hello. Greetings. Salutations. Don't ask me a question as you're walking away. :v

2 more replies

oldmancoyote9y ago

In parts of Mexico it's considered embarrassing to admit not knowing how far away someplace is. The conventional solution is to use the code phrase: "Quatro kilometers, señor.

usgroup9y ago

Whether it's investors/bosses/clients, if you're invited to share your weakness/inexperience on premise that doing so is a sort of strength through honesty; it's a trap, and the right answer is expected to be the opposite.

Jemmeh9y ago

"I had a weakness once. I overcame it. beats chest"

Agreed. General advice I've heard is, "Well THIS, but this is what I've been doing to get past it."

bbcbasic9y ago

Technically if you talk to anyone with a share portfolio about the weather, you are talking to other investors.

TurboHaskal9y ago

Using self deprecating humour in the Anglosphere may signal confidence. In Germanic countries it will get you pitiful nervous stares.

I don't know about the Bay Area but I've heard uptalk is prevalent there specially on tech.

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse

11 comments

Sevii9y ago

stevekemp9y ago

This is culture-specific. As somebody who moved from Scotland where "How are you doing" has only one socially-acceptable answer "Good/Great/Fine" I'm now in Finland.

If you ask a Finnish person how they are, they will tell you.

I regard this as refreshing, honest, and interesting.

Jemmeh9y ago

I want to move to Finland just for this, haha.

2 more replies

oldmancoyote9y ago

In parts of Mexico it's considered embarrassing to admit not knowing how far away someplace is. The conventional solution is to use the code phrase: "Quatro kilometers, señor.

usgroup9y ago

Jemmeh9y ago

"I had a weakness once. I overcame it. beats chest"

Agreed. General advice I've heard is, "Well THIS, but this is what I've been doing to get past it."

bbcbasic9y ago

Technically if you talk to anyone with a share portfolio about the weather, you are talking to other investors.

TurboHaskal9y ago

Using self deprecating humour in the Anglosphere may signal confidence. In Germanic countries it will get you pitiful nervous stares.

I don't know about the Bay Area but I've heard uptalk is prevalent there specially on tech.

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse